Co Bedding NOW!!

I posted some new pictures of the girls co bedding at the bottom of the screen (In all the pics Caroline is on the left and Juliette is on the right). As you can see they are quite comfy being in each others space. Must remind them of when they were in my tummy. Both girls are doing well with their feedings, Juliette has improved with her breathing. It is not mandatory they breastfeed before discharge, but we tried and they latched on after several attempts. It's a lot of work for them so we won't be doing it all the time yet, but it's good to know that they know how. Yesterday Dr. Castro came by an mentioned that they have exceeded their expectations and are doing very well. They are starting their discharge planning to go home soon, when they (the doctors) and we are comfortable. I am not sure if we will ever be comfortable. Don't get us wrong, we want our girls home, but you get used to having the security of the NICU staff and equiptment there to make sure they are okay constantly. We will see how the next couple of days go. I had to post the pictures though. Beside the Santa one's they are some of my favorites. I couldn't tell you how excited I was to see them in the bed together. Last night we put them in matching outfits and put them in the boppy together. Like I said they are right at home being all cuddled up together.

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Years.

We made it to LEVEL 2!!

Both girls were moved to level 2 care last night, this is the section for growers and feeders. They will stay there while they learn to eat and the get bigger. Once they accomplish these goals they should be able to go home. Caroline is up to 4lbs 7oz and Juliette is 4lbs 5oz!!! They are growing, but still learning how to eat correctly. Juliette is bottle feeding everytime, but sometimes she gets tired and forgets to breath, this is normal for a baby this age, but very scary. This is why she needs time to practice, she will grow out of it and learn to remember she needs to suck, swallow and breath all at the same time. We may see Caroline do the same once she starts feeding everytime. For now Caroline is doing well with bottle feeding two times a day, I am hoping they will bump her up to 3 times a day soon. They are both in warmers, but Juliettes is circulating regular room air temp while Caroline's is still being warmed. That is our progress for now.

Making Progress

Progress is slowly but surely being made with both of the girls. Juliette continues to advance at a quick pace, as of yesterday she is being fed with a bottle for every feeding. The nurse said this morning that she got a little sleepy in the middle of the night with her 0200 am feeding and couldn't finish the whole bottle. So they had to put the rest down her little tube which goes through her nose to her stomach now instead of her mouth. They leave it in because she is still learning and it's normal for them to tire out occasionally and they want them to get all of their calories. So if they don't take the whole bottle they put it down the tube. Juliette is also able to control her own temperature pretty good, they still have her in the enclosed warmer because it is quieter. The next step would be a open bed or bassinet, but they are leaving her in the warmer for now so she can rest. Yesterday she weigh 4lbs 3oz!

Today is Caroline's last day of antibiotics and they are slowly decreasing her IV fluids as she is able to take more breast milk. She is up to 27cc which is not too far behind Juliette. We started her on a bottle on Christmas day, she only gets it once a day(Picture on the right). They might increase her to twice a day today. She did take the whole bottle the first day, but was a little confused when I first put it in her mouth. Took her a little while (unlike her sister) to figure out what to do with it. She did better yesterday. After she received her blood on Christmas day she has been much spunkier. She was able to stop the oxygen and has been fine without it. Her blood count went from 28 to 44 with a whole 18cc of blood. They will recheck it again on Monday morning. Her weight went up to 4lbs 4 oz, but some of that was probably from the blood and IV fluids so it may go down again. I haven't heard what it is yet today, just hope she stays over 4lbs with her sister.

That is it for now, I will keep everyone updated as much as possible. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

Merry Christmas to All!!

I hope everyone haves a wonderfully blessed Christmas this year. The girls are doing good. We opened presents with my family yesterday morningthen rushed up to the hospital to have the girls taken with Santa. It was fun, something nice the NICU staff does. We dressed the girls up in the Christmas outfits my friend Sandi got us. I wasn't sure if they were going to get to wear them, but the nurses were totally for it. They looked so cute, like the little Christmas presents they are. I don't know if you can read the tag on the outfit, but it says "Mommy and Daddy's best gift ever." We can't help but think that over and over this year because they are the best little presents ever. Juliette was up to 4lbs yesterday and is eating from a bottle every other feeding. So she gets a bottle then a tube feeding alternating every feeding. They tried to take Caroline off the oxygen yesterday, but she was breathing too hard with out it. This morning they checked her blood level and it had dropped lower than before, so they called me at 0600 am and told me they needed to give her blood. So they have given her some and hopefully this will help her get stronger. Randall's blood was not a match, so she had to get a strangers blood, but if she needed she needed. Other than the blood she is doing good and they are increasing her feedings. We are on our way there now so I will post any changes later.

The top 2 pictures are Juliette with Santa and the bottom two are Caroline

Santa's Visit

Just a quick note, Caroline and Juliette are both doing well. Caroline restarted her feedings yesterday and tolerated them well. She is still on 1 liter of oxygen which isn't bad and as of now does not need blood.

Juliette has been downgraded to level 2 care (this is good), but will stay in the same area as her sister until she catches up with her. Yesterday we fed her with a bottle during 2 of her feedigns and she did very well. It was very exciting. She is my little big girl because she is so little, but doing big girl things. She is wearing preemie and newborn clothes and they fit her pretty well.

Last night they both weighed 3lbs 14oz. They both suck on their pacifiers now. We give them to them when we do the feedings through the tube so they make a connection to suck at the same time of feeling the food go into their belly. Hopefully Caroline will take to the bottle like Juliette when it's her turn. They will need to keep increasing her feedings first though. I do have pictures of this excitement, but will have to put them on here later.

Test results are back.

They started Caroline on her feedings again about 4:oo today. They only gave her 5cc to see how she did. About 5:00-5:30 she had several episodes of bradycardia (slow heart rate) so the nurse notified the doctors. They came and examined her and decided not to give her any more for the rest of the night since it could be related. She was also on very little oxygen (0.5liters) so they increased that to 1 liter and they will watch her over night. The results of the lumbar puncture were negative, they are still waiting for culture results, but they won't be back until tomorrow or the next day. Another common problem for preemie babies is low blood count. The combitnation of her being premature and sick makes it hard for her little body to make new red blood cells. Since she has been sick her count has become low. Right now they don't think she needs blood, but it may be a possiblity so they sent Randall to the blood bank to donate a pint of blood. If she needs blood they will give her his blood if it is compatable. Other people have offered, but it takes a couple of days to process and he has already started the process. If he is not compatable and she needs it right away they will just give her some from the blood bank. It is given based on their weight so it would be just a little bit. They are trying not to collect any more blood from her today or tomorrow. She will have her blood count rechecked on Monday morning unless she shows any changes or signs of distress before then. So she is staying strong and stable, but is not out of danger yet.

Juliette is still doing well. She is still off oxygen and IV fluids. She is also able to control her own temperature with out the warmer.

So that is the latest news, I will keep everyone updated as much as possible. We just continue to hold them when we are there and pray that Caroline gets well and Juliette stays well.

Rough and exciing few days.

There has been some changes the last few days. Sorry I haven't been able to post. We have been at the hospital most of the last 2 days and then come home exhausted at night, so not much time for the computer. Since their arrival the girls have been doing everything together, until recently.

On Thursday morning the doctor called me and informed me that Caroline had changed and appeared sick. That morning when the nurse arrived she noticed that she was lethargic, having periods of apnea (not breathing), bradycardia (slow heart rate) and looked pale. She notified the doctors right away and they did blood tests, x-ray and started on antibiotics immediately. When we got there she still looked puny, but she started perking up shortly after finishing her 2nd antibiotic. Her heart rate improved and her apnea stopped. They also gave her some extra IV fluids, so that helped too. Initially the doctor was worried about a spot on her abdominal x-ray that looked like it could have infection so they stopped her feedings and put a drainage tube in to decompress it. When they rechecked her next x-ray it had improved and there were no signs of infection on the x-ray. There were signs of infection by her behavior and in her blood so they kept her on the antibiotics. Thank God the nurse caught it right away and they are so aggressive because as of yesterday it was confirmed she has a bacteria in her blood stream that is very dangerous. It could have been worse. The doctors were surprised that her blood culture came back positive for the type of bacteria it was (prob ecoli or clostridium). They said it is not common for preemies her age. Now that they have isolated a specific type of bacteria they changed her antibiotic to one that is made to fight that specific type of bacteria. She has stayed strong and did not require any changes in her oxygen and is still just on a little bit (1liter at 21%). We let her rest all day Thursday. Yesterday they had to do a puncture in her back to take out some of her CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) to make sure it did not spread there. We should get some of the results today. They did cultures of that too, but those take a couple of days to fully come back. She was fussy after the procedure yesterday, probably hungry and tired of all the pokes so we got to hold her for a long time and she slept and slept. Hopefully they will restart her feedings today, since she did well throughout the night. They don't know how she got the infection, but she has had a lot of IVs since being there or she could have gotten during birth. They will have to watch Juliette to make sure she does not get sick. This is something I knew could happen, but hoped it wouldn't. It could have been worse though. Multiple people have told me you have to be prepared for them to take 1 step forward and 2 steps backwards while in the NICU.

As for Juliette she has made tons of progress. She is completely off of her oxygen and IV fluids and her feedings are up to 32cc. They still have her on the monitor and are watching her closely to make sure she does not get sick, but she hasn't showed any signs. Yesterday she was being super wiggly and the nurse found her in her warmer turned sideways with her arms over her head and legs hanging off the side sleeping away. She said she looked quite comfy. While I held Caroline Randall and the nurse gave Juliette a bath. It was so funny, she didn't like the scrubing of the body, but she like the hair washing, don't we all! The nurse put a preemie outfit on her and she looked so cute. It fits her perfect. We didn't have our camera, but the nurse took a couple of pics with her camera and is going to have them printed for us. She was very relaxed after all that excitement and slept the rest of the day and night.

Now we are just waiting for Caroline to get better and catch up with her. As of yesterday Caroline weighed 3lb 14oz and Juliette 3lb 12oz. They are both 17 inches long as of Monday. They are so beautiful and amazing, I sometimes still can't believe they belong to us. We are so blessed. I will try to post an update tonight or tomorrow if I can. Please pray that Caroline gets better , Juliette stays healthy and we don't have any more problems. I was a mess on Thursday until I saw Caroline look at me and start moving around. She looked at me with this "I'm going to be okay, mommy" look and I immediately felt better. Thanks for all the support and prayers. Oh yeah, there are a couple of new pics at the bottom of the page.

We're making progress

The girls are doing so well. I am amazed each day at how strong they are. They are still on oxygen but very little and I hope we are close to getting them off soon. They were taken off their photo therapy lights yesterday and their bilirubin levels were rechecked this morning again and they were good. Yesterday Caroline's level was high normal, so if it was higher this morning she would have gone back on it, but was good. They are eating well, last night they started them on 20cc of breast milk every 3 hours. Their weight yesterday was the same as Monday and today it is back up. Caroline is 3lb 110z and Juliette is 3lb 10oz so they are getting close to their birth weight. Since they are doing so well they changed their IV fluids to a less stronger form last night as well.

I can't drive because of my surgery and Randall is not working right now so we are able to go to the hospital together. It has been really nice, we are getting a little bit of a routine now. We usually each hold one, which I love. If it's time for their feedings and we are there we help the nurse. Before each feeding their diapers are changed, their temperature is checked and they clean the umbilical cord. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's very exciting for us. The nurse also does an assessment before she feeds them each time.

Once the girls get off the oxygen and IV fluids and can regulate their temps and breathing they can be moved to the level 2 area and we will start working on feeding them orally. They will also be in bassinets there and less wires/tubing. It has been less than a week and the girls have made so much progress. I pray that they keep progressing well and we will be to level 2 soon.

Update-Sorry it's been a while.

Sorry I haven't got to post in a while. It has been a busy couple of days. Saturday morning they came in and said I was going to be discharged. I immediately started uncontrollably crying. The thought of me leaving my girls seemed so unbearable. The doctor said I could stay another day, but after much thought and crying (even while I was pumping) I decided it would be just as hard on Sunday as it would be on Saturday. So we got our stuff together and went to see the girls in the NICU for a couple of hours then we left around 2pm. It is nice to be home and I am still pretty tired after the surgery, plus I am pumping every 2 hours while awake. I stretch it out a little throughout the night and manage to get around 5-7 hours of sleep. I can't imagine trying to take care of two little girls and recuperate from surgery at the same time. Time just flies by each day since we have been home. We have seen the girls twice each day since we've been home and they are doing well. I have posted some pictures on their latest progress.

As of today Caroline's weight is down to 3lbs 9oz and Juliette is 3lbs 9oz. It is normal for all babies to loose 10% of their body weight initially. They are getting fed my breastmilk through an oral gastric(OG) tube and are up to 12cc every 3 hours. They are also receiving TPN (an IV of vitamins) and lipids(fats) through their IV to provide nutrition. Caroline is still on oxygen and her breathing gets fast sometimes, but then she slows it back down on her own. This is normal for premature babies. Juliette was doing the same, but has progressed a little better than her sister and at last check was off the oxygen. They are both on photo therapy to help bring down their bilirubin levels (jaundice) which is another common problem with babies their age. On the pictures you will see Caroline with purple mask on her face under a light and that's basically what it is. It just looks like they are at a tanning bed. They stay under that 24/7 unless we are holding them and their levels are rechecked every morning. They have both been moved to isolated warmers and there is also a picture posted of that. It provides a quieter, warmer environment for them. It's like they are back in my tummy and helps them grow, since there is decreased stimulus. They are not able to move to this until they are more stable, so I was happy to see Juliette in hers when we arrived yesterday. Holding them is the best thing ever, we only do it once a day because too much stimulus can be bad for them too. I am so excited about all the progress they have made since they have arrived. They are so strong and beautiful and can't wait to have them home. For now I know they are in the right place. The NICU is an amazing place and the staff there is awesome. They are great at explaining things and getting us involved. Randall has changed multiple diapers, fed them, held them and taken a temperature and he jumps right in there, no fear. I believe we will be well trained by the time we get home.

So truly blessed!!

Good Morning to All,

I had to come back onto the site to make sure what I typed yesterday made sense. Randall and I were so exhausted yesterday that we were having a hard time posting what we wanted. As you can see I have added some more pictures and hope to have some more later when my mom gets here. We got to hold both of the babies around 5pm yesterday and my mom took pictures. I was so tired I could barely hold my eyes open, though. The surgery was amazing. While waiting to go to the OR I felt so excited and still wasn't scared, but Randall was very nervous. I was worried for a little while he was going to pass out. When they took me to the OR they took him to change and when I hit the OR entrance I felt sudden panic and was scared. It finally hit me that it was going to happen. It all went so fast, I had people attacking me from all sides, but they were great and explaining what they were doing. The did a combo spinal/epidural on me and the doctor did a great job. I had some itching (still do, but better) from one of the medications they gave me and it made me a little sleepy, but I was awake. My face, especially my nose was itching so bad I thought I could scratch it off, but I couldn't move my hands. The faculty anesthesiologist, Dr Wheeler was my dedicated scratcher until Randall got there. Randall arrived as the doctors were cutting me. They had a big screen up so he couldn't see anything. He jumped right into calm mode and took care of me. It seemed like it took forever for them to get the girls out. It didn't hurt, but I could feel pressure in my belly. It felt like some one was playing football there. Caroline was born first at 0902 and they apparantly had a little bit of a hard time getting her out, all we heard was a little wimpy cry and they took her to the OR suite next door. Then Juliette came at 0903 and she cried immediately. Of course I cried when they both came, it was so amazing to hear them and to know they were here. Randall was there dabbing my tears for me. They let him go over and see Caroline after they stabilized her (those are the naked pictures). They brought Juliette over to us all wrapped up and I got to give her kisses and they took her to the NICU. Then they brought Juliette all wrapped up for kisses before they went to the NICU. That was so nice, I knew they were doing well if they had time to stop by and show us them before they went up stairs. They had to sew me up which felt like forever, but Randall stayed with me. The whole thing went smoothly and everyone was so informative and nice.

After about 2 hours Randall and our parents were able to go see the girls. I didn't get to see the girls again until around 4pm right after they gave me the nausea medication phenergan. After we got to hold them, we went back to the room and went to sleep until about 930. Around 10 last night we got to see them again, we held Juliette for a while. Caroline was very comfy and sleeping so we let her stay warm. They were both doing good, still have nasal oxygen and feeding tubes. They might start trying to feed them today. We are going to head that way shortly to see them again and see how the rest of their night went.

Welcome Caroline and Juliette!!

Caroline Elaine Drake (naked baby 2nd picture down) arrived @ 0902 am weighing 3 lbs 13oz and 16 inches long. Juliette Ruth Drake arrived at 0903am weighing 3lbs 12oz and 16 1/4 inches long. Both were breathing and pink on arrival, only requiring a little bit of oxygen in their nose. The doctors are very pleased with how they look at this point. Amazingly, their cords were not knotted, we were very surprised by that. I got to see them for a few minutes each after they stabilized them and then they took them to the NICU. They are so beautiful, I can't wait to see them again. Mom and Yvonne are laughing at me right now because they just gave me some phenergan for nausea and I am trying to type, but I am falling asleep. I will post more later. Thank you to everyone for all the support and prayers.

Pre-Game Day

Here is Pookie Pre-Game Day Picture.

Info about the day of Surgery-3 days left!

It's Monday, survived another weekend here. I look back at the previous post titles and can't believe that there are only 3 days left until the arrival of Caroline and Juliette. Still not scared, but there are a lot of things going through my mind. The weekend was pretty uneventful, all the NSTs have continued to be great. Had a little more visitors than usual so that made time go by. Randall and I watched the Cowboys give their win away yesterday at the last minute, which was quite frustrating. But it was fun, I like spending the time with him and I am taking the opportunity to learn more of the terminology of football. So he quizzes me during the game, I still have a lot to learn.

A lot of people have been asking questions about the day of surgery so I thought I would share how the events should hopefully go. My surgery is scheduled for 0600 am and one of the nurses told me I would probably go to the Labor and Delivery area for some monitoring approximately 0500. They will start some of the pre surgery stuff the night before and finish the rest in the morning. The doctors will look with the ultrasound machine at the girls just prior to moving me to the operating room (which is right by the L&D dept) to see what positions they are in and they will decide what type of cut they will perform based on that. Randall will get to go in with me and stand or sit at the head with me. There will be a big screen up so we won't be able to see them cutting me, probably a good thing so Randall doesn't pass out. There was another couple here recently that I met (this is very rare) that delivered mono boys and they were able to get some pictures of the girls cords. I am hoping to get pictures of the girls, as well. Not sure if we can get pictures of the girls in the OR, we will probably have to wait til hey get to the NICU. They said Randall and our parents should be able to go up there approximately an hour after they are born. Of course it all depends on what they have to do with them. After I recover then I will go back to the floor I am on now, I may not be in the same room. I will have to wait at least 6 hours to eat, then I can start slowly. Once I get back to my room, if I am feeling okay I will be able to go to see the girls. It all depends on how I am doing. I guess only time will tell.

I am planning on assigning a family member to keep the computer with them so we can post as soon as possible and share everything with you. Hopefully, all will go as planned.

Good Friday to all, 6 days to go!!

I hope everyone is doing well. The girls NSTs continue to go well and without signs of distress. The last couple of days they have been changing positions on us and making it a little hard to get a good strip, but we have managed to find them and get it done. I have had to hold the monitors in a very specific place to get the machine to pick up a good beat. It's hard to explain on a blog, but can be wearing on your fingers, hands and arms after holding it in place for an hour. But it is all worth it, especially after the doctor reads the strip and is satisfied with it. In 6 days we will not have to do that anymore and we will be onto the next challenge.

They started a second round of steroids yesterday, I will get the second dose today. It's not the funnest because it's a shot and it hurts some. The nurse that gave it to me yesterday is here again today and she did a really good job with the injection. I got the first round at 25 weeks in case the girls would have had to been delivered emergently. This will help the girls lungs develop before the delivery next week. It is controversial whether a second dose helps or not(limited studies), but all the doctors talked about it and decided to go ahead with it. I feel like it was a good decision. A lot of the moms on the mono website have done it, too.

I have been getting asked a lot if I am getting scared about the delivery and the girls being here. Truth is that there has been so many times during this pregnancy that I have felt scared, not to mention many other emotions. Right now I feel reassured that we have made it so close to the girls being here safely. Not everyone is as fortunate as us to make it to this point. There have been many that have lost one or both of their twins due to cord entanglements, birth defects and other problems. There have been some who have had to deliver their twins early, ranging from 26-30 weeks because of abnormal testing while in the hospital. I find all this out from the monoamnitotic website, it's a constant reminder of the danger of this type of pregnancy. It also has the many women on there with success stories. Some people wonder why I read it or how I can read the loss section and not be scared to death. Well, it does scare me, but I guess I am the type of person that wants all the cards laid out on the table. I have known all along it is in God's hands and he will only give us what we can handle. But it has helped tremendously knowing all the possibilities and between the website and my doctors I feel like we have been prepared for whatever we are given. So we are very blessed to have made it this far and still have both our girls doing so well in my belly. Right now I am excited and I can't wait until they are here with us.

I do have to admit it feels a little weird knowing the date that will change our lives forever. I wonder how they are going to look and how they will do when they come out, especially since they will be preemies. It's hard to picture in my head 3 pound babies. I used to be scared to death to hold a normal size baby. When Chelsie and Trevor were first born (I was 19) I would not hold them too much until they got bigger and their heads weren't so floppy. It's a good thing I got used to it with Faye and Ruby, but mine will be half the size of them. I feel confident we will figure it all out and be old pros before we know it.

Thanks for everyone's prayers and support, we could not have made it to this point without it.

The results are in!!

Just got back from our ultrasound and the girls are looking great. Their hearts and lungs are working well and their cord blood flow looks great.

Baby A is on the left and she is breech/transverse (head up still), her weight is 1594 grams, which is 3 lbs 8.22 oz.

Baby B is transverse (across the top of my abdomen). I am pretty sure she moved this morning because I noticed her head was in a different spot and I thought I felt someone kicking my right ribs. So her head for now is to the left and her feet to the right. Anyways, she is 1637 grams, which is 3 lbs 9.75 oz.

Now that we are in the third trimester this is the time when they put on the most weight, so hopefully they will gain more weight in the next 9 days. My belly sure does feel like it's been getting bigger and I am starting to get a little uncomfortable, but that's okay as long as they gain as much weight as possible.

No Ultrasound Today

When the doctoring covering for my doctor came in this morning came in to see me this morning she said that my doctor was going to do the growth scan ultrasound tomorrow since she will be here. My doctor is at the clinic all day on Mondays. I was quite disappointed since I had been waiting to see how big the girls have gotten and Randall stayed last night so he could be here too. I guess we will have to wait one more day. Our NST last night was good and they did really great this morning. They were very active and stayed on well.

Well, I wanted to fill everyone in since we I had said in the previous post I would post the results of the scan today. Have a great Monday and I will hopefully post the results of their growth scan tomorrow.

Today I hit my 6 weeks mark here at the hospital. Hard to believe!

12 Days to go, but who's counting?

Well, this is my 6th Saturday here at "Hotel University" and every thing is still going great. Thanksgiving has come and gone. I went ahead and ate the hospital food for lunch and dinner. We had turkey and ham for lunch and chicken for dinner. It wasn't bad. My mom offered to bring me food, but I was worried I would eat too much. I did have her bring me pumpkin pie and fruit salad. I had the pumpkin pie after they checked my 7:00pm blood sugar, it was so good. When they checked it again at 10:00pm it was normal. I ate the fruit salad with my trays in place of the fruit they bring me and kept all my sugars normal. So I was able to cheat a little and still keep my babies safe.
Like I said in the last post, Randall stayed the night and we watched football, of course the Cowboys. It was a lot of fun. The only problem was that I kept thinking that the next day was going to be Monday. So it has been like a really long weekend, but so far I have managed to survive. Lori and Bryan came to see me today and I was glad to get to see them. They have been staying very busy since the arrival of their new bundle of joy, Blayne. Of course she did not bring him, too many germs around this place for a cute little guy like that. I will have a lot of catching up to do once I get out and the girls are going strong.

On Monday, I am looking forward to the girls next ultrasound. It is scheduled every 3 weeks to check the girls growth and fluid levels. For now we will continue with the NSTs and the dopplers and hope all keeps going well. I hope to post on Monday to let everyone know how the ultrasound goes.

Happy Thanksgiving to ALL!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and a lot of you are probably wondering what my plans are. I will be staying in the hospital. In the beginning I thought maybe I could go home, but it would just be too hard to do that, they would have actually had to discharge me and re admit me. It's not that big of a deal to me because I am used to missing out on holidays since I have been in the medical profession so long. Randall is going to stay with me tonight and we will be together all day tomorrow and plan to watch football. Les and Yvonne are coming in the morning and of course my parents are coming to see me later and I hope they will bring us some good food. So although I won't be able to be a my family's home for the holiday I will be with family. We have so many things to be thankful for this year. With all the hard times in this country right now we are actually very blessed. We still have our family and friends, we have our jobs, our homes, our health and most of all we still have our girls on their way. Each day we make it towards that 32 week mark is a blessing!!

As for the girls they have been doing great on the NSTs that are done twice a day. The doctors and nurses are always impressed. The tests are an hour long now and the nurses are so thankful that they are able to consistently find the girls in the same spot and strap me onto the monitor(they are running out of room in there to move as much). The first 4 weeks they would have to hold them on and chase them. I can feel them moving and see them poke their body parts into my abdomen and then I try to figure out if it was a hand, foot, head, back or their bottom. The last time we had to have an ultrasound they were both breech (heads up) so I am assuming it's their head I see poking up and then of course they like using my bladder for their personal trampoline. It all so amazing, although I know there are 2 little girls in there it's still some times hard to believe. I can't wait till they get here and I can hold them, I am sure it will be real then, but I will miss them being in my belly. I guess all of us do, but definitely don't want to be pregant forever.

As far as their delivery date, it has been a busy couple of days to clarify all the details. December 11th, 2008 @ 6:00 am is when I am officially scheduled for my c-section. Like I said before the girls will be 32 weeks that day. Randall still had some questions and felt surprised about the decision so we had the nurse have the doctor come talk to us again on Sunday evening. He was able to ask her the questions he needed to and now feels better about the whole thing. On Sat evening Randall, my mom and I went to the NICU for the tour. It was awesome. The charge nurse showed us their Level 3(highest level of care) and Level 2(stepdown unit) areas and all that had to go with it. Randall had so many great questions and she answered them all. It really relieved a lot of the anxiety I had about that process. They very supportive of family being present as much as they want. The only time we can't visit is during change of shift, but the nurse did warn me that I need to take care of myself too, especially right after the c-section. And my mom reminded me I won't be able to drive for a while. So I guess I will have to depend on others for a while. Because each child is different we still don't know what our girls will have to face when they are born, but I at least feel more prepared on what to expect. Yesterday I spoke with the neonatologist who will be on the day the girls are born. The doctor recommended I talk with them one more time about the differences between 32 weeks and 34 weeks. The four requirements for the girls to be able to leave the NICU will be 1)off oxygen, 2) weight at least 4.5 lbs, 3)able to feed by bottle or breast and 4) maintain their temperature. These are the main complications with both 32 and 34 week old babies and the doctor said we would need to expect that at 32 weeks it will take them a little longer to get through the process than a 34 week baby. There can be a lot of other complications, but we will not go into those details at this time.

Is December 11th a good birthday?

Friday was a nice day, I stayed inside because it was too cold for me to go outside and finally worked some on putting my wedding pics in photo albums. I still didn't finish, but will try to finish today. I had a nice visit with Shelly from work, it's always a nice surprise to see a face from work. Thanks Shelly for coming to see me. Of course my mom, dad, grandma came in the evening. My mom had to go get Chelsie and her boyfriend Eric and brought them by, too.

I had a nice surprise this morning from the doctor. Every morning when the doctors come in they usually ask me how I am doing and tell me that the girls tests have been good. This morning the doctor came in and told me they are planning to go ahead and schedule me for my c-section at 32 weeks, which will be Dec. 11th( this is a tentative date). I was a little surprised and caught off guard. It seemed so out of the blue, especially since they have been saying 32-34 weeks all this time. I didn't ask much questions, I guess I was happy just to hear they had made a decision. They are still going to discuss whether or not they will give me another round of steroids to help develop the girls lungs prior to the date. I already had one round at 24 weeks and a second round is controversial so the MFMs (specialists) are going to discuss it and let me know what they think is best. I couldn't go back to sleep after that I had so many thoughts racing through my head. That date is less than 3 weeks and there are still some things left to do. When I called Randall he asked me "Why 32 weeks, when they have been saying 32-34 all this time." I told him I didn't really ask because I was caught off guard, but there will be time to ask more questions since they come see me at least once daily.

Now I know to most people it seems logical to wait until 34 weeks so they can develop more, but with twins it's different, especially mono amniotic twins. All twins have increased risk for still birth starting at 32 weeks and then we also have to worry about our girls tangling their cords for 2 more weeks. At that point the girls still won't be fully developed, but most doctors agree that the risks of them being born (at 32weeks) outweigh the risks of them staying in longer. On the mo mo website it seems that most deliver at 32 weeks and they are fine. So it seems reasonable to me to have them delivered then. I have had so many months of worries, to wait 2 more weeks seems like forever. Of course there is still the possibility that an emergency could develop and we could deliver sooner, but hopefully that is not the case. If we can make it to 32 weeks and deliver both girls safely I will be happy.

Now regardless of when they are born, it is going to be a definite c-section and they will have two teams of nurses, pediatricians and neonatoligists in the operating room waiting for the girls to assess them immediately. I am not even sure if I will get to see them right away, maybe a quick glimpse if we're lucky. They will go to the NICU and depending on how they look will stay there as long as necessary. All babies are different so it just depends on how they look when they come out. They may or may not need breathing tubes or they might just need regular oxygen. Only time will tell all these little details, there is no way anyone can tell us what we will face on what other mo mo moms call the" NICU Roller coaster". Just like our pregnancy we will hope and pray for the best. There have been babes born at 32 that have only had to stay one week, while others have had to stay months. They will definitely have to be breathing on their own, feeding and growing well to go home.

I am going to place a NICU video on here that you can click on if you would like to know more about the NICU. There are two, about 5 minutes each. #1 A visual tour and #2 How parents can help. I know a lot of people want to be here for us and we really appreciate all the support, but please keep in mind that as long as the girls are in the NICU they are limited on visitors. I think only the parents and grandparents. We are going to go visit our NICU some time today for a tour and I will clarify with them. I hope to be able to add as many posts and pics to this website for all to keep up with their progress. When the girls finally do make it home, it was mentioned that we may want to keep their visitors and outings limited. Since the girls will be born premature that puts them at high risk to pick up all the bugs that are floating around out there right now, especially during the winter months. So although my journey here at the hospital is coming close to an end, we still have a long road to follow.

I will most likely be discharged after a couple of days after delivery and will be glad to be home, but hear it is hard to leave your babies at the hospital. We all know I have issues about leaving family members at the hospital anyways (might have to do with the fact I am a nurse?). I know I am going to have a really hard time with it. I hope the NICU here is supportive of me being around as much as I can because they are going to have a hard time getting me to leave my girls. I hope to be as close by as possible, I hate the idea that we live an hour away. They only have 1 room for parents to stay in here and I think that's for parents of really sick children. I hope not to require that, but may find somewhere to stay closer. I guess only time will tell.

You can probably tell there are fifty-million thoughts being processed in my brain right now. I hope this blog made since and filled everyone in on all the changes that are to come. Let me know if you have any questions. I can not say thank you enough for all the thoughts, support and prayers we have received. We are so blessed to have such great family and friends!!

29 weeks TODAY!!!

We have successfully made it another week. I did have some more contractions this morning during my NST, but like yesterday they did not last long and were mild. The babies did great on it too. They have been moving around all day. The evening NST was good as well. They have been quite active today, I think they're excited that we are 29 weeks!!

I have quite a few visitors today so it really made the day go by fast. It's so funny how no one overlapped. My friend Marla from work came by and not too long after she left, Lori came by. When she left I walked her outside to get a little stretch and as soon as I returned to the room and my friend Jozett came by. We went to nursing school together and works here at University in the Transplant ICU. I did sneak in a nap around three o'clock. When I got my dinner I was starving and they brought me roast beef, mashed potatoes and green beans. I ate the green beans and I was going to try the roast beef, but the knife could not cut it because there was so much grizzle. Yucky, yucky, yucky. Needless to say I made a quick dash to the cafe and got a Blimpie's sub. It hit the spot and my tummy was satisfied. Then Nora from the EC came by to say HI. Yvonne came too, this is her normal day to come see me. I walked her to her car around 9pm and I can't believe how cold it was. Randall would have come too, but he had an upset stomach earlier today and we did not want him giving it to me if it happened to be a virus, so he was instructed to go home. I talked to him a little while ago and he was feeling better which I am glad.

I enjoyed my visit with everyone and appreciate it so much!! I know everyone has so much going on and hard to come by. Thanks for the continued support and prayers.

Is that a contraction?

Since I have been here I am constantly being asked if I am having contractions. I usually say "I don't think so." because I don't know what they feel like. During my morning NST I felt this slightly uncomfortable feeling in my lower back and abdomen, then across the top of abdomen. I thought to myself, I wonder if that's a contraction. When the nurse came back she said I had a contraction showing on the strip. One of the babies heart rate decelerated right after which can be concerning or normal. The doctor came and did a BPP (ultrasound) to double check them and they looked great. The contractions did not last long, but I felt tired and uncomfortable all day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

We just got done doing my evening NST the girls were quite wiggly this evening, but because the strips are 1 hour long they were still able to get what they needed and they said it looked good. No contractions on that strip.

Tomorrow will be 29 weeks, so I am excited about that. I want to thank everyone for all their thoughts, prayers, visits and phone calls.

Here 4 weeks Today!!!

Today has officially been 4 weeks here and I have survived. It has gone by faster than I thought. Only 4-6 more weeks to go!! I had a really nice Sunday, it was pretty uneventful. Chelsie stayed the night on Saturday and we watched TNT all day because we would finish one movie, then another one would start. Aunt Lisa came by for a while, then my mom came. They left about 10pm so I was kept busy all day and that was nice. The weekends have a tendency to drag, especially when I have no visitors.

My plan of care has changed some. Now that I am almost 29 weeks and 28 weeks was a huge milestone for the girls, I felt like I needed to increase the frequency of monitoring. I spoke with the MFM(specialist) about my concerns, we discussed the pros and cons and came up with a new plan of care. So now we will have NSTs in the morning and the evening and they will be at least 1 hour long. So I have had 2 today. The second was at 8pm and was an hour long, it went well. They moved, but they weren't out of control. Hopefully they keep this up. I think I said it before, but just in case I will say it again, as they mature they are not supposed to move so much, so this will help things. Thanks so much for all the support, thoughts and prayers. I will keep everyone updated.

3rd Saturday at the Hotel

Well, today started off a little differently. I had to make myself stay up after breakfast and the 7 am nurse came in right away to the NST so I could get to the class by 9am. The girls were doing really good in the beginning and she was able to strap me onto the monitor and leave the room for a while, but then I heard one disappear and called the nurse. Once she came back in she had to sit there and hold them on because they started wiggling. We were able to get it done and it was a good strip. Just took longer than I thought it would and I started sweating the time, but I was able to make it to the class on time.

Randall and I learned about car seat safety, home safety, infant CPR and basic infant care. I felt a little stressed out at times talking about all the things that can happen to these girls. I know it won't be easy, but it definitely makes you realize that the worries won't be over any time soon. As most of you know me working University with all that trauma makes me a worry wort anyways. I guess Randall was right, you'll probably see my kids outside and they'll looked like armadillos covered in armor from head to toe to keep them safe!

I had a nice surprise visit from my friend Rose from work, she stayed for a while and I talked her ear off. When your stuck in a room by yourself most of the day, it's easy to do. Then Jody, Felton and Chelsie came, too. They came right after the I got my dinner tray of my most unfavored dish--Beef Stroganoff, yucky, as Faye would say. I still ate the veggies, milk and fruit from my tray, but got Jody and them to bring me another Whataburger and again it was sooo good. Chelsie stayed the night with me tonight and we watched Atonement (love it) and now we are hanging out. It's now midnight and I am waiting for the 11-7 nurse to come do my last doppler for the night. So I thought I would toss in a little update.

Hide and Seek for Today!!

So the poor nurse tried really hard this morning to do the NST on the girls, but they did not want to cooperate. The nurse tried for over 30 minutes to get a good strip, but they just would not do what we wanted them to do which was hold still. So the doctor said she was going to come and do a BPP as soon as she could. Well, it was almost 7pm when she finally got to the room, she looked so worn out. She said she had some really sick patients. I felt bad because a little after 6 I had the nurse call and make sure she did not forget about me, but she had been busy. When she got to the room she said their heartbeats were good on the strip, but it just did not make her completely happy so she wanted the BPP. My grandma and mom were here visiting so they were super excited to get to see the ultrasound. My grandma had never seen one before and Dr Rice is really good at explaining the things she is seeing and doing on the ultrasound so it was awesome. The girls looked great, one had her fingers in her mouth and of course they were all bundled up together at times.

On Wednesday night Randall and I went to the breastfeeding class, it was 2 hours long. It was really good, we both learned a lot. Unfortunately, it did not cover a whole lot about breastfeeding twins and my situation with the girls since they will need to be in the NICU, but I have been reassured that when the girls come I will get help from a lactation consultant. Most likely they will not be able to actually breastfeed right away, but I will be able to start pumping right away and then they will give it to them in the NICU. They are very encouraging of babies getting breast milk, especially preemies. I did not know that my body would know that I had premature babies and would make extra nutrients and calories for the babies for the first couple of weeks because of it. It's amazing what the body can do!! Tomorrow we are going to go to a class from 9am-3pm, it has 4 components. I am sure we will learn a lot. I will fill you in on how that goes.

The daily life of a prego in the hospital..

A lot of people ask me what I do all day. Just a little insight on how my days are while I am here in the hospital for the most part. Sometimes I vary from the schedule, but most are like this.

6am- Tech arrives to take vital signs, blood sugar and weight, then I try go back to sleep.
630am-The doctor arrives to check me, then I try to go back to sleep.
7am- The day shift tech arrives and takes my vital signs, then I try to go back to sleep.
730-8am- Breakfast arrives, my daily dose of 2 eggs, a pork chop and 1 piece of toast. (Yes, I said pork chop--EVERYDAY!!) I eat it then I try to go back to sleep.
9am- Day shift RN arrives to do my NST on the girls.
10am- Blood sugar checked, snack arrives, usually piece of cheese, milk, crackers.
10am- I turn on the shower to run the water so it will get hot.
1030am- I take a shower because it's finally hot, get dressed, put on my makeup, do my hair.
1130am-12pm- Blood sugar checked, brings lunch. It usually takes me 5-10 minutes to gobble it down.
After lunch- I watch the channel 12 news at noon and check my emails, blog, do stretches in my room.
1pm- I go for a walk outside, take a book or magazine and sit and read it.
2pm- I must return to my room so the tech can check my blood sugar. They bring a snack, usually slice of cheese, milk or tomato juice (yuk, I don't drink it) and a piece of fruit (yummy!) Then I watch "A Haunting" on the discovery channel and play on the computer.
3pm- Vital sign check. Time to watch Ellen or The doctors or take a nap or play on computer.
330pm- Evening RN checks babes fetal heart tones.
4pm- Oprah or nap time, depending on what's on. I have been know to fall asleep or play on computer.
430pm- blood sugar check, time for dinner, YES, I said dinner at 430! Got to keep us diabetics on schedule!
5pm- Watch the news, again followed by the evening new, followed by the 600 news And then Wheel of Fortune (kinda goes with the 430 dinner, right?)
5-8pm- Visit with visitors, if they come, this is the typical time to have visitors. Visiting hours are 10am-8pm. If they get here before 8 they usually don't kick them out, they just don't let you in after 8pm.
7pm- Blood sugar check, snack time
7-9pm- Check the TV guide (no there isn't any direct TV menu here) to see what I want to watch on one of the 10 channels they have to offer and watch it.
10pm-Blood sugar check, bedtime snack and the News again.
1030pm- Get ready for bed, start yawning, try to hold my eyes open.
11pm- Last set of vital signs for the night.
1130pm- Night shift RN comes to check the girls heart rates. Most seem to get to my room first to this so I can go to sleep, except for nurse that I had 2 nights in a row recently who came in at 1210 and then 1230am. It's really hard for me to keep my eyes open this long.

That's a total of 7 blood sugar checks, 3 main meals and 4 snacks. This helps to keep my blood sugar regulated. My fingers get a little sore, but you get used to it.

I survived 3 weeks at "University Hotel"

Since I decided to start this blog late I am jumping up to 3 weeks. Today we are 28 weeks, it changes every Thursday. I am excited and feel so blessed for each week we make it without problems. I have been very reassured being here. I hear their heart beats multiple times a day and feel reassured knowing that the doctors are just down the hall if there are any problems. We were very lucky to have only one scare, in which the nurse had the doctor come to my room right away. The doctor thought everything looked fine, but did send me down to labor and delivery to be monitored longer just to make sure. Everything turned out okay and the nurse was just extra cautious. She actually apologized, but I told her I would rather her be over cautious, rather than under cautious and thanked her. I have no doubt I have done the right thing. Everyone is really nice here and the room isn't too bad, most who have come to visit have been impressed with the accommodations. Since I have been here Randall and my mom have brought me more stuff. I was sent a plant from Walter and Ruth which is very lovely and I had Randall bring me 2 from home that require frequent watering and I feared would not survive if we had to depend on him to water them. The staff is always impressed by them. I also have a collage of pictures on the wall, most of them are from the wedding since I had Randall bring me all the wedding photos so I could get those organized while I was here. I am waiting for some more from Yvonne, especially of the Faye and Ruby since I didn't have any of those with me.

Why I started this blog

A lot of the women on the website monoamniotic.org that I spend a lot of time on for support have blogs like this. I told Randall before I came into the hospital I was thinking about starting one. Once I got her I was not sure I wanted to do it now or wait til the girls arrived. I am just was not sure if people want to read what I have to say. I definitely wanted it once the girls get here so that I can let ever one know how their progress is going and I can post pictures. I was thinking about it more and looking at the others and decided it would be a good way to keep people posted on our status now. I have been sending out weekly emails to those that I have addresses for, but there are still a lot of people that would like to know what's going on that I don't have addresses for, so I thought I would give it a try. Anyways, I decided to get it started and tell the story from the beginning just so it seems complete. It keeps me busy and I hope that it helps everyone keep up to date on our progress. I sure don't want to bore anyone!

We made it to 24 weeks!!!!!!!

So after much worry and stress, multiple ultrasounds and doctor's visits we made it to 24 weeks. I took off work 2 weeks before my admission to get things ready at home for my and the girls return. At 21 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and they sent me to see an dietitian at the clinic. Much to my surprise I was able to control my sugars better than I thought I could. The diet was better than I thought. It was convienant timing since I had just stoppped working too. In that 2 week time frame we put together 2 baby cribs (thanks to my mother and father in law) and arranged the furniture in their room. We had 2 baby showers, received tons of gifs and washed, dried them all. My mom and I went back to Babies R Us and bought at least approximately $600.00 in more stuff. You need a lot when you have to double it times two. We killed the dryer trying to wash all that stuff! Had to go find a new dryer and have it delivered, finished washing, packed my bags and much more. Plus my Uncle Ronnie was here visiting from Cali, so I wanted to visit with him as much as possible. Needless to say it was a busy 2 weeks.
We checked in on Monday, October 20, 2008. For those of you who really know me, I am proud to say I only cried once through that whole process and I really want to say it's my mom's fault. We went by her house before we went to the hospital and she was sad she couldn't come with me, which made me sad. But I had my Randall and he is always strong, maybe a little squeamish about hospitals, but he did well. We got settled into my room around 6:00pm thanks to the help of my friend Sandy, it went pretty smooth. I had 1 suitcase, clothes on hangers, several other small bags, laptop and more. It looked like I was moving in, I guess I was!

Our Monoamnitotic Story

When the tech gave us the print out of the ultrasound results I had noticed a comment at the bottom that said "yok sac present unable to visualize dividing membrane, fetus were very close together at present time." She did not say any thing to us about what that meant, she had scared us about a possible placenta previa. So when we got home we focused on that. When we saw our Dr. the next week he said it was normal at 9 weeks for placenta not to in its normal place yet, but he did mention it was concerning that there was no membrane seen in the yok sac. He said it was still too early, they would plan to do more frequent ultrasounds in hopes to find it. He did not go into much more detail other than it could be a problem in the future if they didn't find it. On July the 30th we were sent for the high resolution US, it was Randall, My mom and I we were very excited to see the babies. We were a day short of 13 weeks. We met the doctor who specializes in doing high risk US, he looked vigialantly for the membrane, but we still did not fully realize what it all meant. After looking for the membrane for almost an hour he broke the news to us of what exactly "no membrane meant." We were not prepared at all for what he had to say. I remember him stating "If you make it to 24 weeks they will probably want to put you in the hospital for monitoring." It was so surreal, I thought he was talking crazy. We walked into that office happy and excited. We walked out with our world rocked! You could tell we were all trying to process it in our own way, we could hardly say anything to each other. I had been up all night at work and had went straight to the appointment and was supposed to work that night again, but it was too much for me. I was so tired, I had a headach. I decided not to go to work and went home and went to sleep. When I woke up I felt like I was able to face what he told me, but I felt like I needed to know more. My sister-in-law had a co-worker who had previous experience with these types of prenancies and I spoke with her. She reassured me. After I spoke with her I headed to the internet. The doctor told me there was not much medical data out there for them to refer to, but I knew I had to look. That's when I found the monamniotic.org website. It was a lifesaver. I felt relieved to see that others had gone through what we had, I saw their beautiful children, I read the introduction, which explained a lot. I read as many of the posts that I could, including the loss and surviving twins forum. Which brought reality to the whole situation. Overall, I felt more reassured than when we had left the office. I was encouraged by what I read on the website.

Our journey to parenthood...

My husband Randall finished school we decided to try to start a family. So keeping it a secret we started our journey towards parenthood. I was not always sure about having children, but ever since my niece Faye was born I knew I wanted to be a mother more than ever. I just felt different, I guess that's what they call the biological clock ticking.
One night at work I felt really nauseated and had heartburn all night long. When I got off work I stopped and bought a two pack pregnancy test and headed home. I had been trying for a couple of months and had taken quite a few tests. I had seen so many negatives tests I was in total shock when the little stick read pregnant, I just stood there and stared at it and then of course I started jumping up and down and screaming. Nobody was home, but our dogs Will and Grace and of course they were looking at me like I was going nuts. Randall had taken a job that summer which required him to travel out of town a lot and of he was in Dallas when I found out. I had just talked to him before I took the test and he was going to a sales meeting. So I sent him a text to call me ASAP, it was very important, no matter what time it was, he needed to call me. When he called back he knew right away. He said "you're pregnant!" I told him yes. He was with his friend Arthur who later told me "I wish you could have seen his face when you told him." Of course, we were both excited, but you really do feel all kinds of other thoughts and emotions, especially it being our first time. I remember being excited, scared, emotional, worried and thinking "Oh my God, this is really happening."
I went right away to my parents house to tell them in person and then I told Randall I would call his parents in Waco. Of course they were all shocked and elated. We had not told any of them we were even trying. My mom had the best reaction of all. When I told her she said "Well, how did that happen?" with a confused look on her face. I looked at my brother, thinking to myself, do I really need to explain this to her. She said she was just so surprised because they didn't even know we were trying or had planned to try. So that was the end of May and I called the doctors office and of course they couldn't get me seen until June 13th so we waited anxiously for our appointment.
Unfortunately, we had waited to see the doctor on the 13th of June for him to inform us we were only 6 weeks pregnant instead of the 9 weeks I thought I was. So he opted not to do an ultrasound that day. So again we must wait, I was so disappointed. I felt like I needed to see the baby, to know it was a good pregnancy and just be reassured. So on July 2, we had an appointment with just the ultrasound tech scheduled. Randall and I went together that day and the tech asked if it was okay if a student started the exam and then she would review it to make sure she did it right. I work at a teaching hospital so I am used to students and had no problem with it. She started the US (ultrasound) and seemed to be having a hard time with it so she called the regular tech over. When she tried I thought something didn't look right, like there was almost two shadows or two heartbeats, I did not say anything because I did not want to get myself too excited and I really don't know how to read them. My dad and my grandma had both commented several times each about me having twins. My dad has twin brothers (not identical) so he would say "Wouldn't that be something if you had twins?" Never in my mind did I think it was really going to happen. When she confirmed my suspicions I started laughing and crying at the same time. Randall sat there, looking shocked and confused and said "there's two?" He couldn't tell what he was looking at at all so it was really hard for him. It was an amazing feeling, I just can't explain it! She gave us a copy of the report and some pictures to take with us. Of course, we went straight to my parents. My mom was sitting at the table when I took the picture over to her. I pointed at the tiny little figures, barely recognizable as babies at 9 weeks old. I said there's baby number one and there is baby number two. Again, pure shock, she didn't even react right away. It took her a few minutes to let it sink in then I knew when it hit her. She was so excited and started saying "I have to tell everyone, who can we call" Everyone was so shocked to hear the words two babies coming out of our mouths. I have received all kinds of reactions. People have told me "better you than me or good luck or you are going to have your hands full." Well, maybe but I wouldn't want it any other way. I am not the first to have twins, all the others have survived and mangaed to raise them. So I knew we would too, but it would be with double the love.